Television actress Diane Farr was on the Today show yesterday discussing her new book which explores the dynamics of interracial marriages in today's society. Farr is married to an Asian man and has two young children. She claims that on her second date with her husband he told her that he couldn't marry her because she was white. The actress details his and her family's hesitance on accepting their relationship, marriage and subsequent children.
Race relations in the US are still a volatile subject so I can understand the sensitives around this topic. People seem to think that since Barack Obama was elected President of the United States, everything is peachy between the races. I am here to tell you it's not.
Singer Jill Scott was heavily criticized for saying that she winces when she sees a black man with a white woman in an Essence Magazine article. Critics were furthermore outraged when she was invited to the White House for a poetry event. Scott said in Essence "My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America. When our people were enslaved, "Massa" placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated.
While I don't wince, I understand where Jilly from Philly was coming from. To be even more clear, I cant stand black men that detest black women and will go chase after any available white woman. Again going back to slavery, the white women is the prize and the jewel, while the black woman is left to fall on the wayside. To quote the lyrics of rapper Kanye West in his breakout hit Goldigger "But when you get on, he leave yo' ass for a white girl" While most sistas may yell out good riddance, I have a fundamental problem with the issue of self hatred.
Here is my take on interracial relationships. Date and love who you want, it is your life and live it as you see fit. However, dont seek out a particular race based on a fetish or a self hatred towards your own race. Understand that any relationship is complicated. Without a doubt the interracial element adds an extra layer of complication but that dosent mean that it cant be conquered and dealt with.
So talk to me, have you dated outside of your race? What is your take on interracial relationships?